Friday, August 3, 2012

a feelin' in the air...

So there are a lot of things on my mind today. One, how stinking grateful I am that it's like 10 degrees cooler than normal. Two, how amazingly blessed I am to have such an awesome family. Three, that last year on this day i was doing everything possible to go into labor. (i don't actually know what i was doing on this exact day last year, but if i had to guess, inducing labor would be what i was doing considering i spent the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy trying to have my baby) With the cooler air (i know it's really not THAT cool) there is a "feeling" in the air. You know how you'll be walking and smell a certain smell and it takes your right back to where you were the first time you smelled that smell? Well, today i've been having so many "flashbacks" of when Jamison was born that I can hardly stand to think he's turning 1 in just a couple weeks. I don't really remember what it's like to be married without a baby, but i do remember when the doctor told me that i would no longer be pregnant within the next couple hours i started crying thinking i wasn't ready to be a mom. Ready or not, there j was the sweetest blessing in the world. I couldn't believe something so good could happen to me. He was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen, and amazes me each day with how much he's grown and how smart he is. I can be having the worst day, and he can STILL make me laugh. THAT is why being a mom is so great. I will admit that sometimes i can not wait till nap time, and sometimes i want to cry thinking of how fast he is growing, but I couldn't be happier to be his mom. I was going through some of my birth pics of Jamison and wishing so bad i could go back to that moment and re-live it. Future moms, write that moment in your journal! it's soo amazing to go back and read! I remember crying and crying ( i blame baby blues) after J was born everytime he'd become another week old i'd cry and think he's getting too big too fast, and i feel the exact same today. Relish those moments your babies are newborns, life comes and goes so quickly, you'll wish when your baby is turning one that you could turn back time.
When i found out i was pregnant again i was a little less than excited. Mostly because the morning sickness didn't waste any time making it's arrival. And here we are at 17 weeks, and i'm finally starting to feel better. I still wasn't all that excited. All i could think about was how hard it would be to have two babies. I can hardly take care of one. What will i do with two? Then my sweet sister in law Kim had her baby just last week, and i realized how exciting it is all over again. Sure, it's going to be hard, but i think i can do it. (maybe :]) we find out what we are having in two weeks and i can hardly stand it. I'm pretty sure it's a boy, this pregnancy has felt pretty much exactly the same as Jamison, so it's hard for me to think otherwise. This pregnancy has seemed to go by much more quickly than the last, i can't wait to find out what we are having and for the opportunity to welcome the sweet little thing into this world. I love being a mom, it's the greatest blessing!