I know that most, if not all my posts focus on my sweet little baby and fantastic husband. These two amazing boys are my whole world, to those of you mom's out there, you probably know what i mean by that. I found myself wide awake drowning in thoughts at 5 am, after i had gotten up with J for the second time, times i often find myself complaining about, but today, J was able to comfort me, when i didn't realize i was in need of comfort, and i realized that this sweet little infant, sent to me from a loving Heavenly Father, was sent here to show me what LOVE is. To give me a little taste of JOY. So after returning to bed i found myself grateful for the opportunity I've been given to be this little boy's mom. I provide him food, clothes, and a clean diaper, and he provides me a confirmation to my testimony that I have a living Father in Heaven, who loves me, and is there for me always. Being with this little boy, looking into his eyes, and being welcomed by a toothless smile can send chills down my spine. He's a constant reminder to me of the love of the Lord. How much my Father must trust me, to send me this special spirit. In times like this when i feel forgotten, or left behind, it's such a blessing for me to be the mom to this little guy. So innocent and full of Love. For you moms out there who feel small at times, just think of this.
The last couple of Sundays Jake has been there for me while i'm fretting over what to wear to church. "...that's too big"....."i wore that last week, and the week before that...." "i can't nurse in that"... and so many more things came pouring out of my mouth. He was there to tell me i'm beautiful not because of the clothes i wear, but because i'm a daughter of God. When reminded of that perspective, i realized what i put on my body, wasn't important to my Father in Heaven, but that i was going to church was. Jake has always been this for me, a reminder that although it's important to look your best, its more important to be your best. So many people questioned Jake when he chose me to marry. "isn't she....wild?" is just ONE of the many things i heard, Often i find myself thinking the same thing, WHY DID HE CHOOSE ME? I guess Jake sees something i cannot. Although I've made many changes to my life in the past 5 years, i find myself wondering if i really deserve this man. He pushes me each day to be my best. He is my best friend. He stands beside me, holding my hand through life, and the challenges that come, and that's what he's always done for me. When i feel i have no one, i try and remember this.
